The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
