Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
