A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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