69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
