Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
