So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
