Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
