SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I am midnight drunk by noon
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
