On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
