and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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