I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
