So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
