who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think we might need a safe word for this...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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