I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
