I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize