mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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