Kiss
Puke
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
