he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
