Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
