dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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