Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
