so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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