Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Semen is not good for contacts.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
