i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
