I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
