you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
