just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
