meet me or not, i'm out of control
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I stole a fireplace last night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
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