i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
