I'm really into asian looking animals
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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