No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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