I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You pole danced in your parka.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
