I don't remember. Are we still dating?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
