He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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