My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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