you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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