There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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