Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
