he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I wish there were birth control emojis
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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