Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
