quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
