i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
