they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
