Those balls look pretty dangerous.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize