Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
