Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize