The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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