I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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