hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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