I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
