Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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