I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize