Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
