They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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