Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
