On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The feeling are messing with the penis
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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