if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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