you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
