Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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