Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
